A conspiracy theory around The Interview, Republicans, and Angelina Jolie

For the first time ever I may be a conspiracy theorist.

Here is the official story…

Sony Pictures makes The Interview, a movie in which Dave Skylark (James Franco) and producer Aaron Rapoport (Seth Rogan) run the celebrity tabloid show "Skylark Tonight." When they land an interview with a surprise fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, they are recruited by the CIA to turn their trip to Pyongyang into an assassination mission.

Sony Pictures is hacked. Lots of private emails are made public in which we learn shocking things likes Hollywood stars have big egos and Sony executives have senses of humour. 

The shadowy group, “Guardians of Peace” (coincidentally known as the GOP which is Grand Ole Party which is the Republican Party) threaten to blow a lot of stuff up if The Interview is screened. Theatres back out and, ultimately, Sony decides not to release The Interview. I know, right? Pretty sketchy.

I suppose it will go direct to video release so that people can subversively watch it in their own homes and, thus, not feel threatened.

As of this morning, anonymous sources are confirming that anonymous U.S. sources have pinned the Sony hack onto people acting outside of North Korea but at the request of Pyongyang. Whoa.

Oh, and Angeline Jolie may or may not be bald in Cleopatra which may or may not get made but that doesn’t matter because Angelina Jolie has chicken pox and cannot attend the premiere of Unbroken, which she directs, and which may or may not receive a very frosty reaction in Japan.

I wish I could make this stuff up.

Here is another possibility…

The Interview sucks. Sony knows it. So, they leak a bunch of fake emails to Republicans who hate Hollywood because most of those egomaniac actors are Democrats. The GOP pass the email along to the media to make Democrats look bad. Sony trumps up some fake threats against The Interview so they can pull its release and not lose face releasing a really unfunny movie. Remember when James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars? Sometime James Franco doesn’t know funny. 

Sony monitors the internet to see what reaction is to Angeline Jolie sex scenes as in Cleopatra – should she be bald or not?

And Unbroken is released surreptitiously so that Japan doesn’t got too upset because, after all, they matter a lot more then North Korea.

Things are not always as they seem.