Like
medical students who come to believe they have each affliction they learn of, I
have some to believe that I am afflicted with border-less ignorance. I am
starting to believe that I have nothing interesting to say and no way to say it
if I did. Each book or article I read reveals how little I understand. I have,
for instance, massively oversimplified issues around “lone wolf terrorism.” This
is the bad news.
The good
news is that I am starting to understand what I am capable of – what sort
of work of journalism, what book, which I might be capable of writing and enjoy writing. This is good because this next year (now eleven months)
is the start of one final career. I hope to come away from this with
a good understanding of the limits of my skills and a good vision for what I
would like to spend the next ten years doing.
The Gordian knot is frayed. It's not yet undone but it's loosening. I don't think that ignorance is bliss, I think it's motivating.
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